It took me a long time to understand this. Let me explain why so that it may help some of you.
We cannot control anything in this world. We cannot control other people we cannot control the things around us. We may think we can control things. Maybe for a short period of time you can control your child when they are very young because they are not able to function on their own at such a young age. However even that is not real control because any parent knows that a child will do what they want.
We cannot control our spouse or lover, our friends our employees, etc. we cannot control the weather, or World events. We have no control over anything.
Except for one thing.
You can control your own thoughts.
You have full control over what you think about at any given moment in time. And since thoughts are underlying any action, by controlling our thoughts we also will be able to control the corresponding actions.
This may be difficult for many folks to accept, especially if they have learned the pattern of trying to control things around them.
However once a person gives up trying to control anything and focuses only on the self-discipline of the mind, there is a great amount of freedom that comes with that.
To me this is the ultimate discipline.