One of the problems that causes this is choice. If we have a choice in the matter our tendency might be to take the safe route, but if we don’t have a choice then failure is no longer an option. When we believe there is only one outcome then failure cant paralyze us anymore. If the doctor told you that you had 6 months to live if you didn’t go on a diet, Im pretty sure your mindset would switch from ” I don’t want to fail again!” to “There’s no f’ing way I am failing!” Or maybe you lost your job and you need to provide for you family. Are you going to tell me that you will quit trying after 1,5,50 rejection interviews? No, you will go to that 51st and try again. I know these are extreme cases but you can understand the intent. Its because we think we have a choice that we are afraid to fail. When a baby learns to walk and talk, they never just give up. They may fall down and cry but then they get back up again and again until they succeed. In order for them to be fully functional in the world they have to learn to do this, there is no choice.
Another problem we face, is that we use failure as a finite term. Failure is only a finite term if we let it be. Failure should be a process not an end. Theodore Roosevelt once said “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” The only thing that you know for sure when entering the arena is that you are going to fail, that is the cost of admission. You can either be a bystander watching defeat or success or you can pay the price over and over again until you succeed. The CHOICE is yours to make it a necessity to pay for admission….the great news is you can never run out of admission tickets!