I feel like I’ve already started a lot of posts this way, but I’m truly sorry if I hurt any feelings with this one. I’m not sure I can get this point across without sounding like an ass. I guess if you learn from this post it’s worth it to me if you hate me afterward.

For those of you with purely aesthetic goals, you absolutely must understand that you are playing a game that you will only win if your head is in the right place. To put it more bluntly, (insert post title here). In all my experience, with all types of people at nearly every possible fitness level imaginable, I have yet to see even one person turn a body they hate into a body they love. To be honest, I don’t think it can be done. I am not saying people don’t end up appreciative of their gains, but many will never be satisfied with their bodies, even when they far exceed their original goals. You don’t want to be one of these people.

(Brace yourself, here comes some finger pointing.) If you have been on a thousand diets, lost 10 or 20 pounds more times than you can count, weigh yourself a minimum of once per day, can’t see yourself naked without disdain, and absolutely loathe clothes shopping, you probably won’t win this battle without some serious soul searching. Don’t get me wrong, you can certainly build a body that crushes others with envy, but you probably won’t see it.  You already know people who are exactly who you will become. They have that amazing body that you wish you could have, and they are insecure about every inch of it. Of course, this is the extreme example, but any amount of this behavior saddens me. It’s so frustrating as a trainer to watch someone make unbelievable gains only to nitpick their bodies under a magnifying glass while the rest of the world admires their success in awe.

I have seen as much as 40 pounds of weight lost in only a few months go seemingly unnoticed by the person doing the losing. I have seen people become a primary source of inspiration for the new people in my gym, yet I have to walk on egg shells when I talk about their goals lest I bring them to tears. I have seen bodies evolve into absolute magnificence and remain as covered as tolerable on hot summer days. What is the point of all this? Why go to all the trouble of busting your ass in the gym and eating right if your goals are actually unattainable?

I’m asking nicely, please stop and think about these questions. What’s riding on this?  What will you have when you get there? For that matter, how will you know when you are there?

My goals for you are all about health and the physical capacity to enjoy your life. I have come to understand that bodies that feel great and perform great usually look great by accident. But my goals for you don’t matter. So, health and performance aside, what do you think you would gain if your body looked exactly the way you see it in your dreams? Do you think you would be happy? Be honest now. In my opinion (and experience), if you are the type of person who spends a good portion of each day miserable because you hate your body, you will not reach a point where your body suddenly becomes a source of great pride.

I have theorized, but have no proof, that this might be how some people develop exercise addictions. Insecurities that run deeper than skin level are addressed by changing the body instead of changing the head. When this futile strategy doesn’t work the assumption is that more exercise must be the answer. If food takes the blame for low self esteem, the result might be decades of yo-yo dieting or, in drastic cases, an eating disorder.

Am I calling you out? Again, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I just want you to win. So what should you do?

First off, love your body. It’s the only one you have and it’s actually a pretty amazing example of biological engineering, performing astonishing biochemical actions millions of times per day despite the fact that you don’t appreciate it. Get educated and treat it right.

DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE INTO YOUR LIFE WHO HARMFULLY CRITICIZES YOUR BODY!  EVER Life is too short to let assholes take anything from you, and your self worth is no exception.

And finally, change your goals.  If you can force yourself to focus on your fitness capacity and health instead of the size of your thighs or belly, you will find that it is much easier to stay motivated and confident.  Then one day you will wake up to a body you love, and the change will have happened while you weren’t paying attention.
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I sincerely wish I could lay out a step by step plan that would guarantee you a new outlook, but sadly I can not. My hope is that you will catch yourself in depreciating thoughts and put things back into perspective. Being fit and healthy is awesome – don’t rob yourself of these things by dwelling on the stuff that will come naturally when your mind is right. And truth be told, it’s probably not too bad in that skin of yours.

Wolfie
 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about choices. It took me over a half-century to realize that it’s not talent or natural ability that determines success, but simply choices. 
 
I’ve seen plenty of talent wasted (I’ve wasted some of my own), and I’ve also seen people with nothing but the willingness to choose, moment by moment, the behaviors that would make them successful. Those people are the ones who never fail to impress or inspire. 
 
We’re lucky it’s as basic as simply choosing. There are no lines to stand in or applications to fill out before a decent choice can be made. You just do it.
 
I’ve been thinking about the key choices that take someone from Foiled to Fueled. Foiled is someone who is constantly thwarted by their own actions; someone who racks their brain for the reason they haven’t been successful – an action that, at it’s core, is just a search for excuses. Fueled is someone who has paved the road to success with choices. Remember those old Highlights magazines featuring Goofus and Gallant?

That’s how I’m picturing Foiled vs. Fueled in the following Typical Day:
Foiled vs. Fueled: A Typical Day.
Starting the day.
 
FOILED: Hit the snooze button six times to get that extra 30 minutes. Starts the day rushed and chaotic. Eye boogers.
 
FUELED: Got up with the alarm (or, better yet, with the sun!)
 
Breakfast.
 
FOILED: No time. Gas station coffee. Stink breath.
 
FUELED: Got to sit down to an easy pre-planned breakfast of bacon, eggs & sweet potato and a cup o’ joe. Sitting down activated the parasympathetic digestive process. Brushed teeth. Packed pre-planned lunch.
 
Work day.
 
FOILED: Check Facebook, coffee break, asks co-worker for stapler. Goes out to lunch and tries to eat “paleo.” Hits stride around 2PM and has to stay late to finish up.
 
FUELED: Gets $h*t done so work is finished by 5.
 
Workout.
 
FOILED: Um, yeah. Kinda skipped out on that. Tired. Frazzled. Pizza sounds good.
 
FUELED: Hit the Workout (day 3 of 3-day cycle) and did some myofascial release. Evaluated goals & progress. Home to steak and revel in own awesomeness.
 
Bed.
 
FOILED: After watching 4 seasons back to back of Breaking Bad on Netflix.
 
FUELED: ASAP.
 
You get the idea. Every day is a cascade of choices that start before your feet hit the floor. Meal planning and goal setting make the sequence easier and inspire accountability. Don’t lose sleep to watch Twilight for the fifty-seventh time.
 
We can choose to wake up and be better, and for that purpose, our choices meet us where we are. Some may be working on setting a fitness foundation or breaking a habit of lifelong poor choices, and that may mean simply doing 10 jumping jacks before making a healthy breakfast. And that’s just as awesome as doing Filthy Fifty. We can choose to eat right, bite by bite. We can choose to be in motion as much as possible when awake, and to value every minute of rest time we can get. Choosing is easy, and it’s one of our inherent rights. We can choose to change a behavior and implement that change daily.

Wolfie

What Is Fear?
For some people, fear is a muscular sensation of adrenaline that moves through the vascular system, which gives us a fight or flight response. For others, fear is like a deer in headlights, which can be described as being immobile or having a dissociation of consciousness. In modern day society we often associate fear with too much instability or uncertainty. Fear typically occurs when we do not know the outcome, fear of the unknown, fear of a known threat, or fear of pain. Our body is always striving for homeostasis, a level of balance and consistency, and so to combat fear, our mind becomes conservative. It takes us to that all too familiar “comfort zone” where there are proven results of being safe. The thing between our ears convinces us to maintain a simple life by repeating patterns that have proven desired results. Examples may include driving routes you take, food you eat, clothing you wear, rituals you partake in, the amount of reps you know you can do, or the speed you know you can run or row. You really never know how far you can go unless you test your limits, but this thing called fear corners us in a dark room and does not allow us to maximize our potential.

​What happens when changes occur to those natural habits? Your mind goes haywire. You may initially fail some reps or get gassed a bit quicker during metabolic conditioning, but in the long run, you are getting better. Self improvement is what many of us are after in CrossFit, but we limit ourselves when we decide to do what we already know we can do. We are used to doing A and getting B! When we are not in control of our own life experience, our body characterizes it as the unknown, and fear sets in because it has been detected as a threat or danger. So now that we conceptually understand the feeling of fear, lets dig a little deeper and learn how to love our fear.

Stop Holding Yourself Back

Most people are afraid to go for it. They play it safe and say, “No, no, no, we’re not okay, don’t go for it.” The voice in your head that says that you can’t do something is a liar!  You only get one life, and one chance to be everything you ever wanted.  No limits – what we overcome often builds the bridge to survival. Survival rooted by strength will make your weaknesses vanish. If it is challenging, it should be. It’s supposed to be challenging. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The challenge is what makes it great. The challenge is what keeps the chase alive! Don’t ever let your fears beat you – beat them to the punch.

Steve Jobs is famous for saying, “Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” Most people do not get within arms distance of their dreams. The world would be a much better place if people would achieve their dreams. This inability to reach ones dream is caused primarily by fear.  Could you imagine all the things that could be? The advances in technology, literature, music, society, and overall knowledge could be so much further along if it weren’t for fear. Paolo Coelho, author of The Alchemist  once said, “Fear is the only thing that can stop a person from achieving their dreams.”

Many people in this world fear failure. But is it failure that they truly fear or is it the scrutiny that comes with failure? Fear can keep you from taking advantage of amazing opportunities that can enhance your life. Taking a chance on an additional rep or pushing passed the perceived thought that “you have nothing left,” could be the difference between winning, losing, growing, or staying the same. Failing is one of the best tutors in life and at Flow.

Consider the story of a new bank president who went to meet his predecessor. Upon being introduced he quickly said, “I would like to know what have been the keys to your success.” The older man looked at him for a moment and replied, “Young man, I can sum it up in two words: Good decisions.” To that the young man replied, “I thank you immensely for that advice, sir, but how does one come to know which are the good decisions?” “One word, young man,” replied the old man. “Experience.” “That’s all good and well,” said the young executive, “but how does one get experience?” “Two words,” replied the old man, “Bad decisions.” This story can directly relate to Flow. How do you know if you can do 150 wall balls unbroken unless you try? Eliminate self limiting beliefs, conquer perceived limitations, and trample your fear. On your journey you will make many decisions; some good, and some bad. But all will help you get one step closer to maximizing your potential.

As kids we use specific language of  “I will,” when we talk about our futures. We say, “I will be an (insert super cool job here) when I grow up.” In time as we get older we are educated about the hoops we must jump through in order to achieve that particular dream. Then once we begin tip toeing towards adult life we begin using terminology like “if” rather than when, and “possibly”, “might”, “someday”, “maybe”. which gives little certainty and before we know it, fear has smacked us right in the face. I recommend learning to love your fear. Your fear will help push you to the point of doing something so whole-heartedly that you will leave no regret on the table. This way you can look yourself in the mirror and truly know that you did your absolute best to maximize your potential. In many cases even if you fail to reach your goal, you will find yourself headed down an even better path that you may not have reached had you stayed on the fear trail. Fear defeats more people than any other thing in the world. Always remember, fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. In overcoming our fears, we can move forward stronger and wiser within ourselves because everything we want is on the other side of fear.

​Wolfie